A Little Victory Over My Depression

Small Victory Over Depression

Today I had a small victory over my depression, and I knew I had to share it with you. This morning I immediately recognized upon waking, that outside of being comfortable (I was nice and snuggled in bed with our little girl), I was starting to go over that first big drop of my daily depression rollercoaster. However,

I was determined not to sleep the day away, so as I felt my mind climbing that drop I decided to break the cycle.

Usually when I feel myself spiraling, I go ahead and let myself fall. I have lived with depression for so long that the feeling of going into a depressive episode has turned into, “Okay, let’s get this over with…” But not today. I decided not to let myself sit back down after feeding my daughter breakfast. Walking up to the couch, I looked down at my usual spot. This is where I believe I had total Holy Spirit intervention. As I reflect on this moment of my day, I am envisioning it almost like an out of body experience. I can see this moment as if I am floating above myself, and what I see is the top of my head looking down and defeated at the couch.

I am so incredibly excited, and thankful, to say that I chose to walk away after this moment and return to the kitchen.

This is where I made myself a deal; “You may sit down and have your coffee after the kitchen is clean.” You guys!! I actually listened to me! As I began to clean, it instantly helped lift that depression fog that was coming over my mind. I was stunned.

It felt so good to be proud of myself.

Incredibly, I was able to get my kitchen, dining room, and living room all clean before lunch. Usually I don’t even attempt these chores until right before dinner, and I am already angry about it.

The other beautiful outcome was that it totally inspired my daughter to clean as well! Usually, I beat myself up so much about not being a good example for my daughter, so this small victory also encouraged me, because I knew it encouraged her. She asked for a toy down, and I asked her to clean her floor up first, and she didn’t even argue! Now that’s a win for sure.

I am learning that depression isn’t something that will magically go away in a day. It’s the smaller victories over depression that truly impact my struggle for the better. So today I challenge you, the next time you feel the fog approaching your mind, create an incentive that will break the cycle. This strategy will encourage you, produce productivity, and most importantly spark joy!

How are you feeling? Have you experienced any small or large victories over your depression? What happened and what was the outcome?

May His peace be with you.

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4 Comments

  • Erin I am so amazingly proud of you. You are so right in that it’s the little victories that we accomplish that we should celebrate. That’s what I wrote about in my sister hood group after listening to an amazing message by Joel Osteen. You continue to do this then it becomes a habit and it’s not a struggle anymore and the depression leaves. The beautiful thing is, you’re setting a wonderful example for your daughter on how she will grow up one day and do the very same things that her mother taught her. I love you so much and I’m so proud of you. Thank you for being so transparent and sharing your life so that it will help others.

    • Pamela, thank you so much for your never-ending support. My prayer daily is that I will be a good role model for her, it’s one of my greatest fears that I will teach her that she doesn’t want to be anything like me. I’m so thankful I can walk along side others through this journey, and that we can encourage one another!

  • I am glad that you have posted stuff like this. We never know who is going through “WHAT” in their life. I have faced anxiety and depression over the years. And I would have never known what you face. Unless we talk about it . . You are a beautiful woman and a great mommy and wife that I have noticed . Thanks for what you write it helps other people in life. Keep pressing on and do what your doing. Thanks for the encouragement. Be blessed

    • Kim, it is so true that everyone has an extra pair of “rose colored glasses” now with social media profiles. I decided that I should use my testimony and present journey to raise awareness surrounding mental health, especially for women. Thank you so much for your kindness, and sharing your struggles too.

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