Today I had a small victory over my depression, and I knew I had to share it with you. This morning I immediately recognized upon waking, that outside of being comfortable (I was nice and snuggled in bed with our little girl), I was starting to go over that first big drop of my daily depression rollercoaster. However,
I was determined not to sleep the day away, so as I felt my mind climbing that drop I decided to break the cycle.
Usually when I feel myself spiraling, I go ahead and let myself fall. I have lived with depression for so long that the feeling of going into a depressive episode has turned into, “Okay, let’s get this over with…” But not today. I decided not to let myself sit back down after feeding my daughter breakfast. Walking up to the couch, I looked down at my usual spot. This is where I believe I had total Holy Spirit intervention. As I reflect on this moment of my day, I am envisioning it almost like an out of body experience. I can see this moment as if I am floating above myself, and what I see is the top of my head looking down and defeated at the couch.
I am so incredibly excited, and thankful, to say that I chose to walk away after this moment and return to the kitchen.
This is where I made myself a deal; “You may sit down and have your coffee after the kitchen is clean.” You guys!! I actually listened to me! As I began to clean, it instantly helped lift that depression fog that was coming over my mind. I was stunned.
It felt so good to be proud of myself.
Incredibly, I was able to get my kitchen, dining room, and living room all clean before lunch. Usually I don’t even attempt these chores until right before dinner, and I am already angry about it.
The other beautiful outcome was that it totally inspired my daughter to clean as well! Usually, I beat myself up so much about not being a good example for my daughter, so this small victory also encouraged me, because I knew it encouraged her. She asked for a toy down, and I asked her to clean her floor up first, and she didn’t even argue! Now that’s a win for sure.
I am learning that depression isn’t something that will magically go away in a day. It’s the smaller victories over depression that truly impact my struggle for the better. So today I challenge you, the next time you feel the fog approaching your mind, create an incentive that will break the cycle. This strategy will encourage you, produce productivity, and most importantly spark joy!
How are you feeling? Have you experienced any small or large victories over your depression? What happened and what was the outcome?
May His peace be with you.