I’m officially 30. I feel pretty good… Still trying to convince myself that this is not a magical number, that it will not solve all of my insecurities. Overall, I do feel like I am coming into myself. I’m starting to give myself permission to figure things out. I think this is my favorite discovery about being a 30 year old.
In November of 2019 I decided that my coping mechanisms for stress, anger, and anxiety were no longer functional. I sought out a counselor, and have been working with her weekly since. It’s been life changing- to say the least. I’ve participated in counselling several times in my life, but I never found a counselor that seemed to think we needed to work on more than just my history of anorexia. This time I really thought and knew what I wanted to work on, and I gave my counselor permission to speak into my life- direct me on a path of healing.
There are some traumas I will always have to be mindful of, the effects will never go away. But what I am doing is learning proper ways to respond to triggers of my stress, anxiety, and trauma triggers. I will say that I went in expecting to not have to deal with some of the negative emotions I went into “fix”. I have to choose how I handle myself, and it’s still really hard.
The benefit of the positive thinking techniques I am learning in counseling though, is that I don’t have to stay in those negative emotions. I have learned to cope and respond with “and” statements. Example, “I yelled at my kids today, and I am still a good mom.” Maybe today you need to say, “I didn’t work out today and I am still on a path to wellness.” How about, “I didn’t get the response I wanted and I can still choose kindness.” Those and statements have been such a game changer for me! I hope sharing this technique will also help you change your mindset in the midst of disappointment, anger, sadness, etc…
I want to share my journey with you, and that includes my experience with this season of counseling. Because during our time here on earth we begin to realize along the way that we are not made to be alone, we are meant to do this together.
I would love to hear about your turning 30 experience! What surprised you? How did you feel any different? Let’s chat down in the comments.